Counterclaim: The Mamma Vrs. The Boy, The Middle Girl and Baby Girl

Posted by jael on Dec 7, 2010 in Parenting, Spiritual Journey |

In response to the legal action initiated by The Boy, The Middle Girl, and Baby Girl in Stepford SUV Bubble Explosion, The Mamma files a counterclaim:

SUPERIOR COURT LAWFUL AUTHORITY

1      THE MAMMA                              )  Matter no.  1-4-1000-18
2      0 Good Can Come From This Lane         )
3      Optimum, Hope  14411                   )
4      Republic of Maternal Entropy           )
5      Authority.representation/proper        )
6                                             )
7                                             )
8                                             )
9                                             )
10                                            )
11  PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF THE HOUSE
12                                            )
13           THE MAMMA                        )
14                                            )
15              Vs.                           )
16                                            )
17                                            )
18  THE BOY, THE MIDDLE GIRL, BABY GIRL       )
19                                            )
20   Defendents                               )                        -
21                                            )
22           THE MAMMA
23                                            )
24       Counter Plaintiff                    )
25                                            )
26            Vs.                             )
27                                            )
28  SUPERIOR COURT OF PATERNAL ENTROPY        )
29  SUPERIOR COURT OF DOMESTIC RELATIONS      )          COUNTER CLAIM
30  COUNTY OF FAMILY HARMONY, AL, The Boy,    )             Exhibits;
31  The Middle Girl, and Baby Girl,           )

COUNTERCLAIM

SUMMARY

I, THE MAMMA, one of the people of Optimum, in this court of record claim that the SUPERIOR COURT OF PATERNAL ENTROPY, THE SUPERIOR COURT OF DOMESTIC RELATIONS, THE COUNTY OF FAMILY HARMONY, AL, The Boy, The Middle Girl, and Baby Girl have trespassed upon me, the above named being party to my being falsely accused, slandering my name, and having no jurisdiction over me to impugn my community standing and good reputation as a Mamma defender who wants to rise up and sing Hallelujah.  I am overstressed and under resourced in the running of our home, and my claim shall be held to a lesser standard than that of an attorney who is not hope-deprived.  I claim damages of h100,000 (one hundred thousand hugs) from each flesh and blood party and p1,000,000 (one million pardons) from each corporation, for my injury as outlined in my counterclaim:

That I did NOT knowingly or unknowingly cause emotional hardship to The Boy.  At no time was he held hostage or denied the basic needs of food, water, exercise and sleep while in my care.  That I am most certainly not responsible for the worst afternoon of his entire life or its subsequent features.

Likewise, that I did NOT violate The Middle Girl’s Third grade liberties or fail to implement safety improvements following the last family road trip.  The Middle Girl clearly seeks to malign my name in a desperate effort to avoid long division.

Futhermore, that I did NOT injure the pride of Baby Girl.  Medical documentation proves she did NOT sustain retinal damage and could have complied with AR reading quiz review requirements pursuant to family expectation.  I ipso facto can NOT be held liable for public humiliation experienced by my child when a parental loci was in charge of her lunch.

Finally, THE SUPERIOR COURT OF DOMESTIC RELATIONS, THE COUNTY OF FAMILY HARMONY, AL impeached me with faulty testimony of overtired minors who actually love THE MAMMA and are unable to function, deliver homework, complete laundry, or maintain public health in the home without me.  Any judicial record that indicates otherwise clearly colludes with immature parties who cannot do better until they know better, until they are sovereigns without subjects and independent unto themselves.

The damages can be satisfied pre-trail as a settlement wherein a heartfelt family meeting is held and Grace is served like high tea.  Expedited trail dates are available were the parties agreed to have Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Lattes and raspberry scones available forthwith.

And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah!

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