There are many firsts that young mothers compare over playdates or in phone calls to their BFFs.  First through the night sleep, first time sitting up, first time crawling, first steps, first day of kindergarten.  It goes on and on across generations and time like the tide.

There are other unpublished firsts that rarely make the coffee date agenda or conference call.  Unpublished, that was, until Facebook.

So, you know how you don’t usually get the low down on the first time your brother’s daughter French kisses a boy?  Never fear!  Facebook is here.

Thanks to the lesser touted and more pernicious gifts of modern technology, if your niece French kisses a boy, at say, a school event, or even better, a party she is not even supposed to be at, and her BFF catches all of it on her smartphone, then a complete stranger can post it on her Facebook account, tag your niece, and you, your parents, all of your niece’s friends, and even the tech savvy grandparents, who only have accounts so they can keep in touch with the grandkids, will have those juicy pics waiting for view the next time they sign on to Facebook.

OMG!

TNLMAO!

Both taboo firsts happened in my family today.

Call me conservative, but I think 12 is way too young for French Kissing.  And now, there it is, her premature choice available for family viewing and commentary.  Sadly, I think the family might be less kind an audience to the choice than her middle school brethren.

Not that I’ve talked to any of them about it… It’s not like I got a handbook on how to navigate sticky familial technology outings…

I am, however, smart enough not to call my brother to discuss it.

I also showed it to my kids.

No.

Not in a snotty, ha-ha, look what happened to her way.

There-but-for-the-Grace-of-God-go-you-and-I was more the touch and feel of that discussion.  My children adore our niece.  They were shocked that she would kiss a boy, her friend would post it, and that such private pictures of her could show up in their father’s, uncle’s, grandfathers’ feed.

Moments that used to be secret diary scribbles, are now irretrievable public data.  Once it’s out there, it’s out there, Baby.

Great pic for potential internship review committee members to sweep during all too typical applicant social-networking audits.

And don’t miss the point that the girl in the pics is 12.  You have to be 13 to even have a Facebook account.  It is widely known that kids just lie about their birthdays to get accounts as early as 8 and 9.

Facebook bit my family back today.

Think about your kids’ access, so the next time you log on to your account, you don’t see something like this:

About Me                 Child Youknow Personally

Basic Info
Sex: Female
Birthday: April 1, 1998

Parents: Dead to me.
Siblings: none
Relationship Status: Hungry

Interested In: Men
Looking For: A Hook Up

Current City: Miami, FL
Hometown: Las Vegas. NV

Favorite Quotations “Be Who Yu Are,, And Not Who Others Want Yu Too Be”… “If I Could Choose between Breathing And Loveing Yu , I Would Choose My Last Breathe To Say I Love Yu”…. “What Hurts The Most Is Being So Close”
Activities

Texting, Hanging Out With Friends, Dancing, Singing, Color, Shopping, Traveling, Talking to Friends, Chillin’ with any of my friends, Xbox 360, Laptop, Eyelinger, Phone

Music Never Shout Never, Drake, Micheal Buble, B o N, Big Time Rush, Lil Wayne, Owl City, Michael Jackson, Travie McCoy, 3OH!3, Justin Bieber, Randomly singing lyrics that fit what someone has just said, Hearing part of a song and thinking, “That’s going to be my next status,” I Like All Genres of Music, Cash Money and 55 more

Movies Toy Story, The Blind Side, I Shall Call Him Squishy, and he shall be mine,      and he shall be my Squishy…, The Hurt Locker, Easy A, Disney, Buddy the Elf, Finding Nemo, Disney Pixar, Paranormal Activity, Step Brothers, Official Vampire Suck Movie, Harry Potter, Are we Done Yet? and 4 more

Television MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Ghost Whisperer, Make It or Break It, Teen Mom, Jersy Shore, My Life As Liz, “I HOPE YOU GO BALD!” “I HOPE THEY CANCEL OPRAH!”   “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!” Spongebob’s face when he figured out Squidward likes Krabby Patties, Miley, don’t you know your party in the USA can’t start until KeSha walks in?, So You Think You Can Dance, Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, Rob & Big, Jershey Shore and 25 more

And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah!