Piping, Red Hot Concessions for Sale!
As I researched summer engagements for our children, I happened across this concession stand menu for the 2011 EAST Conference:
2011 EAST Conference
Convention Center Concession Stand Menu
| Hot Dog | $3.50 |
| Sausage | $4.00 |
| Nacho | $4.00 |
| Chili Nacho | $4.00 |
| Chicken Tenders Basket | $6.50 |
| Frito Pie | $3.50 |
| Pepp. Pizza | $6.00 |
| Cheese Pizza | $5.00 |
| Corn Dog | $3.00 |
| Fries | $2.00 |
| Hot or Cold Sandwich | $5.50 |
| Salad | $4.00 |
| Hamburger | $5.50 |
| Cheeseburger | $5.75 |
| Medium Soft | $2.75 |
| Large Soft | $3.25 |
| Small Coffee/Capp. | $1.50 |
| Large Coffee/Capp. | $2.00 |
| Frozen Lemonade | $3.00 |
| Energy Drink | $4.00 |
| Sport Drink | $3.00 |
Like you, I’m not going to hazard a guess on the recipe of Frito Pie, or its gastrointestinal consequences, but the lineup does spark a query.
No, not, “Would you like fries with that?” though I am surprised potatoes were not represented in this culinary pageant.
Before you worry this is another rant post about childhood obesity, the horrors of corn syrup, or the processed garbage we feed our kids, I promise you it’s not. On those score cards, this student-conference  fare speaks for itself.
However, don’t you wonder why concession stands pander greasy junk food and not yield boons?
A concession is a thing that is granted, especially in response to demands, or a thing conceded. This definition conjures up mediation, not pizza.
How would an actual Concession concession stand menu read:
2011 Concession Conference
Concession Center Concession Stand Menu
| Acknowledgment | $5.50 |
| Admission | $6.00 |
| Assent | $3.50 |
| Confession | $7.50 |
| Surrender | $9.99 |
| Yielding | $2.00 |
| Adjustment | $1.50 |
| Allowance | $4.50 |
| Boon | $12.99 |
| Compromise | $9.99 |
| Grant | $2.50 |
| Indulgence | $6.00 |
| Permit | $2.00 |
| Privilege | $12.99 |
| Sop | $1.50 |
Whatever the dietary implications, I gotta believe that relationships would be much more healthy were Concession concession stands as easy to frequent as concession stands.
Supersize me a Big Gulp of Surrender, please!
There’s a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah!