There Again, Here Back.

Posted by jael on Dec 8, 2011 in Spiritual Journey |

Not so long ago, I lived in There, a golden land of hills far, far away from Here.

There was more than just my home.

All of my biggest and brightest moments happened There.

I went to school There.
I found out I was smart There.
I met my husband There.
I married him in the university chapel There.
I had my babies There.

There I first began to teach.
There I was first published.
There my daughter twice beat death.
There my Jesus saved me.
There my friends found me when I wasn’t even looking at a Church that became like our second home.

We left There for new opportunities Here and nothing has been the same since. Our perceptions have become like an algorithm that instantaneously calculates and pings out more than and less than comparisons. We have more Targets and less friends Here, for example. There has more mountains and Here has less wrinkles.

They have injections for that Here.

As we closed our first quarter Here, I began to anticipate a trip There.

I purchased the ticket five weeks out and wasn’t certain I’d actually have the courage to board the plane until the morning The Husband dropped me off at the airport at 4:50 a.m.

I didn’t want to rip off the transition scab and recycle the grief ferris wheel. Rides that go round and round always make me queasy…

I flew There last week without many expectations an even smaller number of people who knew I was coming.

The only things about which I was certain was where I would sleep each night and that Operation Poinsettia would continue in earnest another year.

Time There flew in a panacea of reunion and surprises that were a certain, sudden elixir to my soul. I realized that I had gotten a bit crispy around the edges like a fried tilapia sandwich on a day old bun Here, but felt my feet back under me again There.

Travel to There comes with its own jet lag, of course, just like a hop across the pond. I had me a side of sadness and some re-entry malaise. It’s taken me an interval to appreciate in fullness my myriad of experiences.

My primary take-away?

There is Here too.
As ever, I am There
and He is Here
The Body reaches out
and Jesus is the way.

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah!


[…] Instead of pictures, I extend word portraits of some of my biggest moments during my recent trip to There: […]


[…] Instead of pictures, I extend word portraits of some of my biggest moments during my recent trip to There: […]



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