Bloggy Mommy Body

Posted by jael on Mar 2, 2011 in Parenting, Spiritual Journey |

@BloggyMoms tweeted a quip about getting bloggy bottom last week:

think I’m getting bloggy bottom
2/26/11 4:49 PM

I tweeted her back that I thought there was a post in that idea:

@BloggyMoms Ha! Great post idea… The BloggyMommy body from nose to toes, saggy, breast feeding middle parts included… (or not)
2/26/11 5:38 PM

What follows is the fruit from a @BloggyMoms tweet, even though it’s obvious from her gorgeous picture that bloggy bottom is not a problem of hers.

Bloggy Mommy Body

Like most serious athletes, the Bloggy Mommy has a distinct body type specifically conditioned for the necessary behaviors and reflexes of a syndicated blogger.

The Toes:

Often sporting a french-tip manicure, or hidden in slippers, they are tucked under a desk or lap-top  much of the time.

The Feet:

Well muscled and ready to spring, they leap into action to serve family, friends and community.

The Calves:

Well defined, they have run mile after mile as well as paced worried floors.

The Knees:

Kneel to pray.

The Thighs:

Lap of comfort wide enough for babies.

The Hips:

Having crowned heads and been portals to lives, their spread is noble feminity.

The Bottom:

We sit upon our look upon and find there more to see.

The Girly Parts:

Kegel. Kegel. Kegel.

The Waist:


The Breasts:

Have fed a baby or two, or three, or four, or more, and, as such, now may droop in salute.

The Shoulders:

Broad and strong, they carry the burden of a job description that constantly creeps and changes along with endless chores.

The Clavicle:

“Mommy, Mommy, what a big clavicle you have!”

“All the better to accent my pearls with, my dear.”

The Heart:

Trusts Love to Win and God to be God.

A prominent clavicle, like pearls, go with everything.

The Neck:

Tight and corded, it clenches to swallow pride and rise up to protect the esteem of children.

The Jaw:

Chiseled and confident, it dwells in possibilities.

The Mouth:

Open and smiling, it sings, “I’ll Love you Forever.”

The Nose:

Sniffs out the truth like a reporter on a deadline.

The Eyes:

Etched with smiles and the patina of tears, they seek and celebrate.

The Hair:

Rarely matches the color of the high school graduation picture.

The Mind:

Sings Hallelujah and records the reason why.

Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah


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