My Crying Shoulder

Posted by jael on Jul 23, 2011 in Spiritual Journey

Though it makes prefect sense that I resist the inevitable escalation of grief as the day of our departure lurks as assiduously as I decline a good pork pull with slaw served on a Wonder Bread bun, I feel the coward that my girls were away when the reality of our timeline slapped them like the briny brace of the Artic Ocean.

On the other hand, I rejoice that they were able to release some of their pent up heartache away from me and able to purge anger and woe without me as a filter or audience.

One of the many things I know that I cannot see clearly is how exactly I will help them all navigate this transition. God of Mercy, Father Love, I trust you will direct me.

I return to the mantra Trust.
I Trust Him with my heart.
I Trust Him with my thoughts.
I Trust Him with my Marriage.
I Trust Him with my children.
I Trust His Goodness.
I Trust His Faithfulness.

I stretch to rejoice this trial and allow Him to train me through this as He has begun to guide me to be sensitive to His prompts and obedient to their calls upon my life.

I rejoice how abundantly He has blessed me with contact and context.

He is my Provision and perfectly portions my daily bread.

He’s my crying shoulder.

I thank Him for his unflinching constancy and perfect Patience. I marvel how He embraces my rabbit nature.

He baffles me again and again, my Maverick Jesus, the most Revolutionary teacher this side of Eden.

I pray that He allows me to be of good use as we walk out this move together and partner me with the Supernatural gifts that I will surely require to be the Mamma they need right now.

Ah, me, so much Love…

so much LOVE is HE!

Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

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