My Crying Shoulder
Though it makes prefect sense that I resist the inevitable escalation of grief as the day of our departure lurks as assiduously as I decline a good pork pull with slaw served on a Wonder Bread bun, I feel the coward that my girls were away when the reality of our timeline slapped them like the briny brace of the Artic Ocean.
On the other hand, I rejoice that they were able to release some of their pent up heartache away from me and able to purge anger and woe without me as a filter or audience.
One of the many things I know that I cannot see clearly is how exactly I will help them all navigate this transition. God of Mercy, Father Love, I trust you will direct me.
I return to the mantra Trust.
I Trust Him with my heart.
I Trust Him with my thoughts.
I Trust Him with my Marriage.
I Trust Him with my children.
I Trust His Goodness.
I Trust His Faithfulness.
I stretch to rejoice this trial and allow Him to train me through this as He has begun to guide me to be sensitive to His prompts and obedient to their calls upon my life.
I rejoice how abundantly He has blessed me with contact and context.
He is my Provision and perfectly portions my daily bread.
He’s my crying shoulder.
I thank Him for his unflinching constancy and perfect Patience. I marvel how He embraces my rabbit nature.
He baffles me again and again, my Maverick Jesus, the most Revolutionary teacher this side of Eden.
I pray that He allows me to be of good use as we walk out this move together and partner me with the Supernatural gifts that I will surely require to be the Mamma they need right now.
Ah, me, so much Love…
so much LOVE is HE!
Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah!
Jer 33:11 …the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who will say:
“ Praise the LORD of hosts,
For the LORD is good,
For His mercy endures foreverâ€â€”
and of those who will bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD.
Soon you (and family) will add your voice(s) again to those who might have NO reason on this earth to sing and rejoice – and then find the truest of all meaning to do so.
With Mama prayers….
Thank you for the gift of your prayers and agope love! xoxox
Ah, the crying shoulder. What a good reminder for me these days too. Thank you for sharing what it looks like to be uncertain and hurting, but full of trust. I’ll join you in your broken hallelujah.